Last night, we went with friends for a birthday dinner to Zachary's at Pezula in Knysna and quaffed:
- a Kir Royale
- a glass of De Morgenzon Chenin Blanc (wooded and totally delicious; seriously, who knew Chenin could taste this good?)
- a glass of Thelema Chardonnay
- a glass of Pinot Noir (by this stage, I was paying little attention to the vineyard)
The meal was excellent. I had an organic garden salad with spring flowers and a Champagne vinaigrette, some sort of Amuse Bouche, a perfectly done fillet with garlic and smoked butter mash, a dessert (compliments of the Chef) and a local cheese platter with watermelon preserve and figs.
This would be quite fine if it was a once-off, but since we started our holiday, I find myself drinking wine at a 3 course lunch, scoffing chocolates in the afternoon and then gorging myself on a completely delicious dinner, washed down with The Grapes of Sloth. And despite the fact that I am actually quite reasonable at arithmetic, I manage to convince myself that my 'walk around the island' will sort it all out.
This really is fuckwit logic though. Here's the actual math:
3 glasses of wine + 1 Kir Royale at dinner last night = (70 x 3) + 200 = 410 calories consumed
1 hour walk around island = 150 calories burned
Note that this excludes the actual solids I consumed, which, over the course of yesterday, also included batter fried prawns, mussels, Belgian feta, spring rolls and another glass of wine. (and almond tart and lemon meringue in the afternoon, but I'm repressing that)
As you can see, mathematically, I am destined to roll back to Johannesburg on 2 January, full of resolve to undo this pigly damage and get myself into 'the best shape of my life'. Every year. Same story.
My body needs nourishment and sleep and exercise to recuperate after a killer year, and yet, when the routines and the schedules and the task lists dissolve, so does my discipline. Every holiday, David and I are excessive and unhealthy and we end our vacations full of blubber and self-loathing.
Another mathematical misfortune:
It takes 3500 extra calories to gain a pound of schmaltz. Similarly, you need a 3500 calorie deficit to lose a pound. (2.2 pounds = 1 kg) Do you know how goddamn easy it is to scoff down an extra 3500 calories? You could do it in 2 days without much effort. But to lose that pound? You need to religiously cut 500 calories a day for a full 7 days.
Oh if only my discipline was as good as my maths.
In an effort to refocus my efforts and not start 2011 as a genuine candidate for The Biggest Loser, I am going to download 'The 4 Hour Body' book. It's written by Tim Ferriss, the maniac who wrote 'The 4 hour Work Week'. Dude is 33 years old and what he has achieved is truly phenomenal. (his blog is great too.... www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog. He's a bonkers and adventurous and experimental and all about stuffing life to the brim.
Sooo...I will let you all know what the book is like (planning to read The 4 Hour Work Week too so that I can become a CYBORG next year) and welcome any comments from those of you that have:
1. Read the books
2. Read Tim's blog
3. Know where I can get my jaw wired shut for the holidays
Ho ho ho.
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