Migod I wish I was on commission for IS Clinical. Ever since that blog post about the total fabulousness of the product range, so many of you have emailed, smsed and What's app-ed me to ask what products to buy.
This is my regime, for what it's worth....
Morning:
Dermalogica Special Cleansing Gel
IS Clinical Super Serum Advance
Dermalogica AgeSmart SPF 30
Evening:
Dermalogica Special Cleansing Gel
IS Clinical Active Serum
IS Clinical Youth Complex (better for day time use, but I don't like the way foundation holds on it, so I use it at night)
Dermalogica Intensive Moisture Balance (will probably switch to their Skin Smoothing Cream for Summer if IMB is too rich or I may try an IS Clinical cream)
I also use eye cream and I tend to vary that.
Right. Soooo now that you've made your shopping list and have phoned your bank manager, perhaps you'd like to know what these products actually do?
The Active Serum exfoliates your skin using mild acids, so no need for a face scrub (how brutish!) on top of it. It acts to diminish lines, erase acne and improve pore size and hyper pigmentation. Basically, it takes off the aged, shitty, gritty layers of skin to reveal a youthful new you. It tingles a bit and you may peel a little to start. Suck it up dear. It's worth it.
Super Serum Advance rocks. It improves scars, boosts collagen production (which plumps up your saggy-assed skin), brightens your face and helps to block out those nasty UV rays that make you look like that old bat in There's Something About Mary. (although you still need sunblock) I love it. It's full of antioxidants, which means that it fights off the ageing, cancer-causing crap in our environment. Think of it as 'The A Team' for your skin, without Bradley Cooper. (who's too busy shagging that oddball Zellweger)
Aaah. Youth Complex. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
1. Firms.
2. Tightens.
3. Reduces wrinkles.
4. Smoothes.
5. Softens.
6. Protects.
For those of you considering peels, for fuck's sake, don't do it in Summer. Our sun is harsh and exposing the deep, sensitive layers of your skin to its rays is a sure-fire way to cause damage. I'm serious.
Stay hydrated. Stay sane. Keep reading. XXX
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
What is discipline?
Our 4 year old is bright, warm and wonderful, but he is also pushing boundaries, doesn't listen to a damn thing, gives death stares when he's angry and is as cheeky as a 14 year old girl.
And so...
Last Friday, about 11 o clock, my therapist's room:
Me: So I think that discipline is about teaching children the logical consequences of their actions.
Therapist (that I hugely respect and that has massive experience with parents and kids): No. Discipline is about the threat of the removal of love.
Me: WTF??? Removal of love? Jeezez. Did you and my mother go to the same school of parenting? That is so 80's. Your child does something wrong and you make them feel like shit...give them the cold shoulder...sulk. That's complete bull.
Therapist: Very strong reaction.
Me: Yes - well you're talking crap.
Therapist: Don't you think that today's kids have, in general, less respect, less motivation and less boundaries than your or my generation?
Me: I guess. But that's not purely a function of how we discipline our kids.
Therapist: Perhaps, but it's relevant. Children today have emotionally aware parents; parents who control their own reactions and emotions so that they can be 'Good Parents'.
Me: And you're suggesting that that makes them Not Good Parents?
Therapist: No. Just that it's not always appropriate for parents to contain their own emotions. If your child doesn't listen to you after the third time, it's appropriate that they experience your anger and your disappointment, and if that includes withdrawal of affection for a short period of time, that's fine. Your child needs to know that what he does not only has a consequence, but also, an emotional impact on others. Sometimes, a cold shoulder is justified.
Me: But...but it will teach him guilt?
Therapist: It will teach him empathy.
Hmmm...
Is Gen X too soft? Are we too actualised and therapized and distracted to keep our children in check? Is there a case for good ol' fashioned parenting, or at least a peppering of it?
I have an allergic reaction to anything that feels like guilt tripping, but maybe, if the intention is to be authentic and not to incite guilt, then maybe, I can get angry and sad and disappointed and withdrawn and maybe, just maybe, Liam and I will survive it.
My therapist also told me that his colleagues that deal with adolescents report that there seems to be a hugely significant wave of apathy in the 12 - 17 age group; teenagers that are unmotivated, disinterested, lazy. This might be because 82% of them are stoned, but there is something in the way that we are raising our kids that is creating this - and perhaps their behaviour is our 'logical consequence'.
I felt too guilty to lie on the couch and get C's. Is there another emotion we can incite to motivate our kids other than guilt? And if there is one, will it ever be as powerful?
Is this just a problem for Jewish mothers? Oy vey.
And so...
Last Friday, about 11 o clock, my therapist's room:
Me: So I think that discipline is about teaching children the logical consequences of their actions.
Therapist (that I hugely respect and that has massive experience with parents and kids): No. Discipline is about the threat of the removal of love.
Me: WTF??? Removal of love? Jeezez. Did you and my mother go to the same school of parenting? That is so 80's. Your child does something wrong and you make them feel like shit...give them the cold shoulder...sulk. That's complete bull.
Therapist: Very strong reaction.
Me: Yes - well you're talking crap.
Therapist: Don't you think that today's kids have, in general, less respect, less motivation and less boundaries than your or my generation?
Me: I guess. But that's not purely a function of how we discipline our kids.
Therapist: Perhaps, but it's relevant. Children today have emotionally aware parents; parents who control their own reactions and emotions so that they can be 'Good Parents'.
Me: And you're suggesting that that makes them Not Good Parents?
Therapist: No. Just that it's not always appropriate for parents to contain their own emotions. If your child doesn't listen to you after the third time, it's appropriate that they experience your anger and your disappointment, and if that includes withdrawal of affection for a short period of time, that's fine. Your child needs to know that what he does not only has a consequence, but also, an emotional impact on others. Sometimes, a cold shoulder is justified.
Me: But...but it will teach him guilt?
Therapist: It will teach him empathy.
Hmmm...
Is Gen X too soft? Are we too actualised and therapized and distracted to keep our children in check? Is there a case for good ol' fashioned parenting, or at least a peppering of it?
I have an allergic reaction to anything that feels like guilt tripping, but maybe, if the intention is to be authentic and not to incite guilt, then maybe, I can get angry and sad and disappointed and withdrawn and maybe, just maybe, Liam and I will survive it.
My therapist also told me that his colleagues that deal with adolescents report that there seems to be a hugely significant wave of apathy in the 12 - 17 age group; teenagers that are unmotivated, disinterested, lazy. This might be because 82% of them are stoned, but there is something in the way that we are raising our kids that is creating this - and perhaps their behaviour is our 'logical consequence'.
I felt too guilty to lie on the couch and get C's. Is there another emotion we can incite to motivate our kids other than guilt? And if there is one, will it ever be as powerful?
Is this just a problem for Jewish mothers? Oy vey.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Miss Independent
My husband is one of the most generous people I know, which is fortunate, because if there is one character trait I cannot stand, it's miserly-ness. And it's often got little to do with how much money someone has: there are many loaded misers around, and in my humble opinion, it's hugely gross. We had the square route of fuckall growing up, but my mom was always generous. She always gave to charity, always tried to spoil us on our birthdays and always, always gave thoughtful gifts.
Even if it meant that she had to wash her own car because she couldn't afford the car wash.
Even if it meant she had to use Clairol Nice 'n Easy on her roots, because a visit to the hairdresser was prohibitively expensive.
Even if it meant that we always wore hand-me-downs.
My father on the other hand, was (and probably still is, although we haven't spoken in years) a real Scrooge. He was miserly with his money, his compassion and his spirit. He would calculate EXACTLY 10% of the bill at a restaurant (Jeezez - like R3 more is going to make a difference?), highlight the phone bill and make me pay my share (from age 15), NEVER give a penny to those less fortunate and never bought me so much as a card on my birthday.
Yuk.
With all of this battered baggage, I promised myself that I would never ever be financially strapped or controlled by my partner. Luckily, David is too generous and too evolved to ever use money as leverage in a relationship, but there are way too many supposedly contemporary men who do.
I have friends that are bright and capable women, but because they chosen to be full time moms, their husbands develop this Godly power over them that they are deeply afraid to escape from; wealthy men with hot-shot jobs that use their credit card to control their women. Sexy boys. Really sexy.
My thinking? Doesn't matter how great your husband is, women, all women, should ultimately have some sort of financial stability or income that is not attached to your resident Scrooge. It teaches some of these numbskulls respect and keeps them on their toes...because if you want to, you can leave and you'll survive it.
Despite having nothing, my father still used money to berate, control and emotionally damage us all. I feel huge compassion for him now, because if you have to use something as filthy as money to have leverage in a relationship, your emotional toolkit is empty.
You can still be a wonderful mom, whilst retaining your independence and sense of self in a relationship. I struggle with that balance all the time and being a working mom is not easy (and it comes in many shapes and forms), but ladies, if you have a control freak or a Scrooge as your roommate, put on Beyonce, burn a bra, write a business plan, start a share portfolio and take your power back.
To any blokes reading this, if you relate to Scrooge, for fuck's sake, grow up and get a therapist. Lord knows, you need one.
To all my sistas, love you. You rock. And if your bloke tells you otherwise, read my post on a FGH. He probably needs one.
Even if it meant that she had to wash her own car because she couldn't afford the car wash.
Even if it meant she had to use Clairol Nice 'n Easy on her roots, because a visit to the hairdresser was prohibitively expensive.
Even if it meant that we always wore hand-me-downs.
My father on the other hand, was (and probably still is, although we haven't spoken in years) a real Scrooge. He was miserly with his money, his compassion and his spirit. He would calculate EXACTLY 10% of the bill at a restaurant (Jeezez - like R3 more is going to make a difference?), highlight the phone bill and make me pay my share (from age 15), NEVER give a penny to those less fortunate and never bought me so much as a card on my birthday.
Yuk.
With all of this battered baggage, I promised myself that I would never ever be financially strapped or controlled by my partner. Luckily, David is too generous and too evolved to ever use money as leverage in a relationship, but there are way too many supposedly contemporary men who do.
I have friends that are bright and capable women, but because they chosen to be full time moms, their husbands develop this Godly power over them that they are deeply afraid to escape from; wealthy men with hot-shot jobs that use their credit card to control their women. Sexy boys. Really sexy.
My thinking? Doesn't matter how great your husband is, women, all women, should ultimately have some sort of financial stability or income that is not attached to your resident Scrooge. It teaches some of these numbskulls respect and keeps them on their toes...because if you want to, you can leave and you'll survive it.
Despite having nothing, my father still used money to berate, control and emotionally damage us all. I feel huge compassion for him now, because if you have to use something as filthy as money to have leverage in a relationship, your emotional toolkit is empty.
You can still be a wonderful mom, whilst retaining your independence and sense of self in a relationship. I struggle with that balance all the time and being a working mom is not easy (and it comes in many shapes and forms), but ladies, if you have a control freak or a Scrooge as your roommate, put on Beyonce, burn a bra, write a business plan, start a share portfolio and take your power back.
To any blokes reading this, if you relate to Scrooge, for fuck's sake, grow up and get a therapist. Lord knows, you need one.
To all my sistas, love you. You rock. And if your bloke tells you otherwise, read my post on a FGH. He probably needs one.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Aubrey II: A Hamster on the Run
In a sort of rodent-kind of Prison Break (but without the hotness that is Wentworth Miller), Aubrey, our now notorious hamster, escaped last week. Liam was playing with him in his room. It was 18h45. I was tired and not in the mood for micro-management.
5 4 3 2 1....
"Mooooo-ooooo--oommm".
Here we go.
"Aubrey runned away."
Now don't get me wrong: I think Aubrey is really sweet and I like the fact that Liam is learning to (intermittently) care for something, but at 18h45, I couldn't be fucked to CSI my house looking for a fugitive fur-ball.
Needless to say, CSI we did. For over an hour.
Nothing. Aubrey was well and truly gone. By this stage, Liam had lost interest in Aubrey's safe return and was far more enamoured with the shadows he could make on the wall using the torch we were supposed to be using to check under couches for Aubrey. So I thought 'to hell with this', got Liam to bed and had visions of squashing Aubrey en-route to the bathroom in the wee small hours.
For 3 whole days, Aubrey was nowhere to be found. By now, I was starting to worry about what the poor bastard was going to do for food and water, so I started to populate our home with plastic bowls of water and that synthetically-coloured birdseed that hamsters eat.
And then it happened: in the middle of the night, I went to check on the kids, one of whom was talking in his sleep. There, in the passage, was the little green plastic bowl of seeds, half empty and knocked over. It seemed The Fugitive had indulged in a midnight feast.
Early the next morning, Liam woke me up.
"Mommy! Come quick! I see-ed Aubrey scoot across my room!"
Eventually, a tired, hungry and skittish Aubrey was returned to his home, where he hoovered his water and had a hamster-binge.
So what did I learn from this?
1. My husband is good at a lot of things: catching a rodent isn't one of them.
2. My friend Tammy was right: hamsters teach children about loss, just as much as they teach them about responsibility.
3. I am actually starting to love Aubrey.
The End
5 4 3 2 1....
"Mooooo-ooooo--oommm".
Here we go.
"Aubrey runned away."
Now don't get me wrong: I think Aubrey is really sweet and I like the fact that Liam is learning to (intermittently) care for something, but at 18h45, I couldn't be fucked to CSI my house looking for a fugitive fur-ball.
Needless to say, CSI we did. For over an hour.
Nothing. Aubrey was well and truly gone. By this stage, Liam had lost interest in Aubrey's safe return and was far more enamoured with the shadows he could make on the wall using the torch we were supposed to be using to check under couches for Aubrey. So I thought 'to hell with this', got Liam to bed and had visions of squashing Aubrey en-route to the bathroom in the wee small hours.
For 3 whole days, Aubrey was nowhere to be found. By now, I was starting to worry about what the poor bastard was going to do for food and water, so I started to populate our home with plastic bowls of water and that synthetically-coloured birdseed that hamsters eat.
And then it happened: in the middle of the night, I went to check on the kids, one of whom was talking in his sleep. There, in the passage, was the little green plastic bowl of seeds, half empty and knocked over. It seemed The Fugitive had indulged in a midnight feast.
Early the next morning, Liam woke me up.
"Mommy! Come quick! I see-ed Aubrey scoot across my room!"
Eventually, a tired, hungry and skittish Aubrey was returned to his home, where he hoovered his water and had a hamster-binge.
So what did I learn from this?
1. My husband is good at a lot of things: catching a rodent isn't one of them.
2. My friend Tammy was right: hamsters teach children about loss, just as much as they teach them about responsibility.
3. I am actually starting to love Aubrey.
The End
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